Monday, August 21, 2006

Defending My Honor

I was reading Cosmo and it reminded me of something and I thought I'd share...

Let's set the scene..

When: December 2003

Where: A local bar, following my husband's Christmas party at another bar.

Who: Me, 7 months pregnant. My husband, 7 tequila shots too many!

Why: Because after the Christmas party my husband decided he hadn't had enough to drink and convinced me to take him to our favorite bar...not so much a favorite when you're preggo!

The story..

It was close to 2am and at 7 months pregnant I was exhausted! All I wanted to do was go home so I finally convinced Will to get out of there. He was hem-hawing about leaving so I just put on my coat(which didn't zip because my belly was too big!) and headed towards the door.

As I walked passed the bar this guy who was leaning against the wall stuck out his foot to trip me! I about fell because of the lack of balance us pregnant woman have, but managed to recover.

I swung around and slammed the guy against the wall by his shoulders. I did. I still can't believe it!

To picture how funny that had to have looked, I'm only 5'1" and this guy was easily 6'. Oh, and here is a picture of me pregnant(I was pregnant with Punk at the time of this story, but this is pic of me pregnant with Twinkletoes).

Anyway, the guy then noticed that I was pregnant and was visibly horrified that not only had he 1)almost wiped out a pregnant woman, but 2) his judgment was so fogged by beer that he was hitting on a fat cow!

I went back and grabbed W and told him that this asshole had tried to trip me and "COULD HAVE HURT OUR BABY!!!" I was a total mess over the whole thing. W went up to him and I was so convinced that he was going to beat the shit out of him and I did not want to get hurt in the scuffel so I went outside.

I stood out there for a few minutes and W never came out. I got a little worried about him and went in to see what he was doing. That's when I saw my manly husband(boyfriend at the time) defending my honor by......standing there with jerko numero uno, arm around him like they were long lost buds laughing and getting ready to go buy another beer.

I walked up, ignored the man's rambling apologies, grabbed W by the coat sleeve and drug his ass out of there!!

Needless to was a LONG time before I let him live that story down...apparently I still haven't!


Babaloo said...

I would have been picking up my husband from jail the next day and the PWTG (pregnant woman tripping guy) would not have been able to breathe through his nose. Just out of curiousity, what was Will's side of the story? What did they talk about?

Jen said...

Well apparently he was ready to kick the guys butt...but the guy was SOOO apologetic(he really didn't realize I was pregnant, he just saw the blond hair and thought he'd hit on me) so Will found the whole thing funny after that. He was VERY drunk..that's his excuse! GRR!

Diana said...

Good job almost kicking that guy's ass. Ppppbbbbttt to Will. Drunk men=stupid!