Abracadabra..Make Mommy Disappear!

Questions I've Been Asked In The Past Three Hours (and my most sarcastic responses):

1. Can I have my cereal and juice..NOW?
(please for the love of God let me get my coffee first!)

2. Is there poop in my panties?
(I don't know, go look! ... NOT IN HERE, IN THE BATHROOM!)

3. When do we get to take a bath, we haven't had a bath in DAYS?
(You just had a bath yesterday, LET ME HAVE MY COFFEE FIRST!)

4. Can I have some crackers?
(Finish your cereal first!)

5. Why are there boxes all over the back porch?
(Because we're moving in a couple of weeks and Mommy has to work like a slave to get ready for it!)

6. Do we get to get our kitten the first day we move?
(No.)

7. Why not?
(Because we're getting our Christmas tree that first day, and I don't want the kitten climbing the tree and knocking it down and RUINING CHRISTMAS.)

8. Can we get it the next day?
(Absolutely not! We'll get it after Christmas is over.)

9. Can we name the kitten Rover?
(Seriously, get over the kitten thing, okay?)

10. Can I have crackers yet?
(No. And if you ask me again I'll throw all the crackers in the trash)

11. Why is Kayley biting that toy?
(Because she thinks she's a puppy dog.)

12. Can we get a puppy?
(Next spring.)

13. Is Daddy coming home yet?
(Not until this afternoon, you KNOW that!)

14. Why do you drink so much coffee and we only get one cup of juice?
(Because I'm the Mom.)

15. Can I have coffee, Daddy lets me.
(Your daddy is crazy.)

16. How does toast turn to toast?
(Because it just does when you put it in the toaster.)

17. Mom, can we eat in the "ricka room" (living room)?
(No way! Do you really think I want to clean up your messes all day like I'm some kind of maid?)

18. Can you make Kayley shut up?
(Shut up isn't a nice word.)

19. Can you make Kayley zip her lip?
(Sure let me wave my magic wand.)

20. Are you a princess, Mommy?
(I wish!)

And my day has only JUST begun..