Monday, August 14, 2006

Having a Husband Does Not Mean Having a Helper!

I know that this is probably something that every stay-at-home mom encounters, but I'm starting to get really pissed off by it! My husband thinks that when he's home, he does not have to do anything. Seriously. Nothing. He even made the comment the other day there there was no way that I could do his job, and that he could do mine very easily and would never complain.

I think he has a death wish. Especially since for some reason my body is all screwed up and I'm having my second period in three weeks!! Our house is being overtaken by my PMS hormones!! Even my kids have learned to back off, but my husband...not so smart!

Now, back to the comment that I couldn't do his job. He may be right there, but only for the fact that I haven't had the proper training or 15 years experience like he has. But if I had, then your damn straight I could do his job. But here's what gets me. Yes he works all day, but when he gets home, he gets to sit down and be waited on.

He does nothing around here. I'm not going to go into the details of what my day with the kids is like. It's pretty self-explanitory. But as soon as my husband is home in the evening or the weekends, my job is even harder. There's one more person to pick up after. There's one more person asking where their things are that I've picked up and put in it's rightful place, but how would he know because he just lets stuff lie where it lands. And when I'm trying to make dinner, I still have to keep my eye on the kids, he wont even look after them for me! He used to.

He does so little that when the kids want or need something, they only come to me. Even last night, Twinkletoes had something in her mouth. I was actually sitting down for a minute and W says. "What's she got now?" And just sat there and let me get up to go check. WTF?

He makes a big deal when I mention any of this to him. He gets all pissed and says that he hates how I make it out like he's lazy. But he is, when it comes to things around the house. He used to get the kids changed and put in bed every night so I could kick back after making dinner. But he doesn't even do that anymore.

Oh, and one more complaint before I go. I made the comment last night that our house got trashed over the weekend. He proceeded to tell me that most of it was mine and the kids. And because of that I was to assume that it was my responsibility to clean up(no surprise there). But it's now Monday, he's at work, and his things are still lying where they were last night.

I guess that's my cue to get cleaning!

But first there's lunch to be made, diapers to be changed, doctor's appointments to be scheduled(one of those being for my husband!), birthday party invitations to be filled out and mailed, and Ebay items to be listed. Oh, and fight my kids to take their naps.

Oh no, I do nothing around here. My job is so easy.


Diana said...

oh, no. Arent they useless sometimes? I have no solution for you, my dear, for my dear sweet huuby is the same way sometimes. I think he has washed the dishes exactly once since we've lived in our apartment.
I don't know what it is about them that gets them this way. When I was staying home with my son I had to actually scream at the top of my lungs and cry real tears to get him to listen. Now that we both work, we TRY to split chores, but I always end up doing them anyway.

LaShawn said...

And the church said...AMEN! It is a man thing.

Babaloo said...

Sweetie, I've been trying for 14 years to get hubby to stop dropping things everywhere and to help around the house. When you figure it out, PLEASE let me know!

Valerie said...

Honey let me tell you it will not change until you force his hand. sit him down and tell him how you feel. I had to do the same thing with Tony. I still do more but he has gotten much better. I wish you luck. Little things like this can turn into BIG problems for a marriage

J. said...

Oh wow.
Did I write this?
I won't even get started on this whole topic, but rest assured, I get it too. I think we all do.

Recently, I didn't make any dinners for a week. Didn't do any laundry either. That got some notice. I said 'what? the good fairies didn't come and do their job?'

Don't quite remember how I got here, but I had to comment on this.

Amanda said...

I can kind of relate to this (I know I'm late). During my recent maternity leave D was exactly the same way. So I stopped doing things for him. If he threw his clothes on the bathroom floor, that's where they stayed. Later on he would ask where all his clean clothes were. If he can't AT LEAST put them in the hamper, then they won't get cleaned. Plain and simple. It's hard being a SAHM. There are no 1hr lunches or 2 15 minute breaks. There is absolutely no down time. It sucks. Not to mention there is hardly any adult interaction. Anyway, no I am rambling- Hope things have gotten better. Tell your husband he is a part of the family too and if you had to put the kids in daycare you would be out of at least $300 a week.
Anyway- talk to a later. Amanda